


Salt

by ShizukaHanagawa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Not a lot of tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19462774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShizukaHanagawa/pseuds/ShizukaHanagawa
Summary: When it comes to love, take everything with a grain of salt.





	1. Chapter 1

Levi could only stare at the soldier in front of him. The young soldier, maybe only seventeen years old, was trembling in front the squad leader. Levi and Erwin had warned the soldiers when they were cadets that joining the Scouts would impact you in more ways than they ever thought possible. They had warned the then cadets, that they would see unspeakable evils and they wouldn’t be able to turn tail and leave the Survey Corps whenever they felt like it. Had this young man listened to what they were telling him, he probably would have been better suited in the Garrison. It was too late now though. The military didn’t have time to constantly reassign every soldier that had regretted the decision to join the scouts and, quite frankly, they couldn’t afford to take anyone off the front lines. It was a lose-lose situation no matter how you looked at it. If the soldier couldn’t and wouldn’t find the resolve to fight the titans, they would be slaughtered. There really was nothing neither Levi nor Erwin could do.

Right now, more importantly, the issue at hand was figuring out who this soldier belonged to. Levi hadn’t seen him around before and he sure as heck hadn’t graduated under Levi’s careful watch of the Training Corps when he had been scanning and collecting data about which cadets would transition into the military under the Scouts. He had to be from either a northern or an eastern district. He just needed to find out where he was from and who his commander was.

“Where are you from?” Levi asked, not amused by the young man any longer.

“I’m from Trost District, Captain."

"Where is the location of your unit?"

"My unit is from Karanes District."

"And your commander?" Levi dragged.

"My commander is Commander (l/n)."

Levi froze. Commander (l/n)? He had heard the name before, actually it was a very familiar name to him, but it couldn't possibly be who he thought it was.

"Commander (f/n) (l/n), correct?" Levi asked sharply.

The poor soldier could only nod. Well damn. It was exactly who he thought it was. This was going to be a hell of a situation to navigate. Levi took his feet off his desk and walked to the door. He quickly sent a messenger for Erwin and the other commander before returning to his desk and finally allowing the soldier to sit down.

"You got yourself into a hell of a situation, soldier. I hope you know that."

Within the span of thirty minutes, Erwin and the new commander were standing in Levi's office. Levi took a moment to take in the female after he saluted her. She hadn't changed, other than the coldness in her eyes as she stared at him and the cut of her (h/c) hair. Her once long hair was now a slick bob.

"What is the meaning of this meeting, Levi?" Erwin asked.

"This young soldier here has requested to switch from the Scouts to Garrison. I haven't seen his shitty face around here before so I needed to get his commander involved. Commander (l/n), that's why you were asked to come as well."

Her (h/c) eyes moved from Levi's form to the form of her soldier sitting in front of her. After recognizing the soldier, her shoulders slumped and she could only sigh.

"Ulrich, what are you doing here?"

The young soldier jumped to his feet and saluted his commander.

"Commander, I... I..."

(f/n) raised a hand to stop the young soldier from his own stuttering. There was a softness in her eyes for the young man. Were they lovers? Levi had no idea but a tinge of jealousy made its way to his mind.

"Ulrich, you've done this three times now. You've even come to someone that isn't in your District Chain of Command. What are you doing?"

The soldier could only look down at the ground, his embarrassment finally catching up with him. 

"I just want to make sure I come home to my daughter, Commander (f/n)."

(f/n) took a few steps towards the younger man and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know, Ulrich. However, you're not the only one that has family. We all want to go back to our families at the end of the day. Did you not hear the speech your squad leader and I had given once you had graduated from the Training Corps?"

"I did! I did, but I thought it was going to be different!"

"What did you expect to see, soldier? There's nothing but Titans out there," Levi had commented.

(f/n) had shot him a nasty look and continued to look at her soldier. For the first time, (f/n) had actually looked her age. He found it hard to believe that she was 26 years old, only four years younger than the captain himself. She had always looked younger than she was, and now she had found her late 20s beauty. She was unbelievably beautiful.

"Ulrich, you are one of my best soldiers. I'll make you a deal. Make it through this next mission we have and I'll transfer you to the Garrison if that's what you want. I don't want you to leave the Scouts, but if you're determined to find a way out, other than dying, then I'll award you a transfer."

"We can't afford any transfers off the front lines, (f/n). You know that as a rule of thumb," Erwin was quick to comment.

"We also can't afford any pointless deaths either, Erwin. Ulrich has one more mission before I'll grant his transfer. That's all."

(f/n) had dismissed the soldier to return to their unit, leaving the two commanders and the captain alone. Levi gestured his hand in the direction of the chairs, offering seating to the two commanders. They quickly obliged and sat down.

"(f/n), one day you're going to get yourself in trouble,' Erwin commented.

"I just hate to see pointless deaths. I know that Ulrich has the ability to be a great Scout soldier, he just needs to get over his fear of titans. I'll drop him into the hands of the Garrison and I'll watch him work his way back to the Scouts. It's honestly too easy."

Levi placed his feet on the desk once more, eyeing the woman. There was a softness to her, something that he honestly couldn't put his finger on. She was taller than him by at least five inches, and was a higher rank than Levi himself, but he couldn't figure it out. There was something that had changed about her.

A soft knock came from the door, pulling Levi out of his thoughts. After a short period, Levi had given the command for the other side to enter. In walked a soldier holding the hand of a small child. Levi's eyes bounced back and forth between the soldier and the child. They looked nothing like each other. So, what were they doing here?

"Commander," the female soldier had called out.

"Ah, Ida, thank you. I promise I didn't forget," (f/n) said as she stood from her chair and walked over to the two figures.

"I figured you had a meeting, Commander. However, Ansel was growing very tired."

(f/n) smiled and picked up the small child, hugging and placing loving kisses on the child's forehead.

"I apologize, Ansel. Mommy had some last minute work. Ida, thank you again for watching him for me last minute. I promise, this isn't your job and I greatly appreciate the favor."

The soldier, Ida, smiled at her commander before saluting and leaving. (f/n) walked back to the chair, the small child in her arms. Ansel settled comfortably in her arms before noticing Erwin. After finding the blonde was in the room, Ansel began to squirm out of (f/n)'s grasp and made his way over to the other commander. All the while, Levi could only watch, trying hard to figure out what was going on.

"Ansel! It's been a couple of months since I've seen you! How are you little one?" Erwin picked up the toddler and flashed him a wide grin.

"Uncle Erwin!"

"Have you been keeping your mother in check? I know that your mommy has been busy, but not too busy for you right?"

Ansel could only giggle at all the attention that Erwin was giving him.

For Levi, it had finally clicked. Ansel was (f/n)'s son, even though it had been stated two or three times already. That softness that Levi had noticed earlier, the softness that he hadn't been able to place his finger on, it was the softness of having someone to care for. The slight twinge of jealousy that Levi had felt earlier had only intensified.

Levi's eyes bounced back to (f/n). She had her head propped up against her hand, a small smile on her lips as she watched Erwin interact with the child. Her eyes were full of pride and she was more relaxed than before. Levi slowly moved his eyes to examine the child. He had jet black hair and two hazel eyes. As soon as those hazel eyes met Levi's, the small child shot Levi a small smile. Not knowing what to do, Levi could only nod and look away.

"I didn't know you had a child, (f/n)," Levi said, the words leaving his mouth before he could even think of stopping them.

(f/n) looked over at Levi, any trace of softness gone. Erwin, sensing the tension, volunteered to take Ansel back to (f/n)'s quarters and watch the child until (f/n) returned for the night. After Erwin and Ansel left, a heavy silence loomed in the room.

"How old is he?" Levi asked gently.

"He's two."

Levi nodded. He hadn't known and (f/n) made a good effort at making sure he hadn't found out until now. Taking his feet off his desk, Levi sat forward and sighed.

"How are you doing? How have the past five years been?" Levi questioned.

"I'm doing fine."

Levi's eye twitched. She was being so short and unamused with him, things she knew that would bother him to his very core.

"Levi, I don't know what you want, but I don't want to go down this road with you."

"Why did you leave, (f/n)?"

The (h/c) haired female's glare dropped at the slight wavering in the man's voice. She couldn't look at him. Going back almost five years ago was going to wreck hell on the both of them. She simply couldn't do it.

(f/n) stood from the chair and walked to the door of Levi's office. With her hand on the doorknob, she sent Levi one last look over her shoulder and then left, leaving the man with the question that had bothered him for half a decade.


	2. Chapter Two

Levi walked over to the training grounds, watching the soldiers of the Survey Corps as they training on their combat skills. Off in the distance, you could hear the sounds of the cannons firing off the walls. The Garrison Regiment was busy taking care of the smaller, less threatening titans that were pitifully trying to access the human population inside.

"Captain Levi, we have a message from Commander Erwin!" Sasha announced as she approached the man.

"What is it?" Levi spat.

"You're to report to Commander Erwin as soon as the training grounds are cleared."

Levi dismissed the female soldier with a wave of his hand and continued his oversight of the training. Across the training grounds, he could see the Survey Corps of Karanes. They were slightly larger than the Survey Corps that Erwin commanded, but they generally fell in the Survery Corps with Erwin as the head. However, when it came down to it, Erwin always gave (f/n) the last decision on her own scouts. No one knew them better than she did, and even Erwin had recognized that the military would need to be broken into divisions and needed their own chain of command for those divisions. Maybe it was all the paperwork that he was constantly tasked with, or maybe it was the fact that actually splitting the Corps into divisions was a good idea. Either way, Erwin didn’t mettle in (f/n)’s division, and (f/n) didn’t mettle in Erwin’s division. They had quite the agreement of who was Commander of what and it worked seamlessly.

Commander (f/n) was out there as well, watching her scouts train, and even sparring occasionally. She was slightly frustrated with her soldiers today, but she was doing the best she could to keep her mouth shut, lest the soldiers get discouraged. A new shipment of soldiers fresh out of the Karanes Training Corps had arrived today, and (f/n) was carefully analyzing each and every one of them to figure out their placement and their immediate jobs. Levi could only imagine the pure agony she was experiencing right now. At this point Erwin’s scouts had numbered roughly around two hundred. (f/n)’s numbers were around two hundred and seventeen before the arrival of at least thirty more. Tough luck being a commander that day.

Levi had noticed that her face was puffy, a characteristic that Levi had never liked. He had seen her face with that certain characteristic whenever she had been crying. He had no idea what had happened to her, but he wanted to know. Maybe it was the soft spot she held in his heart, but he was genuinely concerned. He began to angle himself around the training fields, hoping to get close enough that he would be able to talk to the woman that slipped through his fingers. Just as he was close enough, (f/n) was approached by Sasha as well. Soon after their conversation, the Karanes soldiers had been dismissed and the (h/c) haired woman walked away.

  
~~~

  
(f/n) leaned on the corner of Erwin’s desk, meticulously comparing their notes about a new mission that had landed in the hands of Erwin. This mission was different though. It would take place right outside of Karanes. Even though he had sent the mission details to (f/n), the mission always landed back on Erwin’s desk and (f/n) hadn’t heard about it.

“So what you’re telling me is that there’s been some sort of unknown base outside Karanes?” (f/n) scoffed.

“It appears so. From our intelligence, it may be a secret Scouts base. A certain number of Garrison and Military Police have been out there to examine it, but none can open it.”

(f/n) sighed as she straightened up and crossed her arms. Levi didn’t bother to move his feet off the other corner of the desk. Erwin sat in his chair, frustration written all over his chiseled face.

“Aish, this is going to be a pain… I suppose I can go and check it out. I am fairly skilled in picking locks,” (f/n) had suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

“You actually need to stay here, (f/n),” Erwin commented.

“Why?” (f/n)’s voice dripped with a certain amount of bitterness.

“You have a child you need to be with. Plus with your influx of soldiers you need to be able to overlook them,” Levi chimed in.

Truth be told, Levi didn’t want (f/n) to go either. With the news of a secret base just recently being released, there was a certain amount of suspicion floating around this new topic. (f/n) could only shoot him a side glance with those beautiful (e/c) eyes that he loved.

“Yes, I know I have a child. Ansel does have a father, you know. Ansel could stay with his father while I attend to the mission. As for the new soldiers, why not put Hange in charge of them?”

“We can’t do that, (f/n), you know that. Our two divisions are still part of a test to expand the scouts into divisions. We can’t have anyone from my division commanding your division,” Erwin replied.

“I forgot about that… I can put my captain in charge of them. My captain is as reliable as the come in my division. That’ll take care of the situation on my end. Now, Erwin, you need to decide who is leaving with me.”

“I’m going with you, (f/n). It doesn’t make sense to have both commanders gone at the same time,” Levi had managed to say.

(f/n) closed her eyes in pure frustration. This was the final straw for the woman. Erwin had already come to the conclusion that the pair were to go together, he just didn’t know how he was going to coax the two. Little did Erwin know, that the two were going to fall into place without him even trying. The (h/c) haired woman turned to Levi, who was still relaxing with his feet on the desk, before grabbing her cloak.

“Gather your team of five and I’ll gather mine. Tonight we have the briefing for the joint force. You’ll need to be in my office at least an hour before so we can discuss placement. I’ll see you after dinner, Levi.”

With that, (f/n) stormed out of Erwin’s office and into her own.

“I take it that she’s still in that love-hate relationship with you?” Erwin asked.

“It’s more like she hates me. (f/n)’s always been tough to crack after you get on her bad side.”

“So, what did you do to get on her bad side, Levi?”

“I’ll let you know when I have that figured out.”


	3. Chapter Three

Left to right. Right to left. Left to right.

  
(f/n) was pacing back in forth in her room as she waited for Levi to show up. Her hands were shaking and her body was cold. There was no reason for this fearless commander to act like this! She was always calm and composed, but now? Now was completely different.

(f/n) had thought about throwing everything off her desk and basically destroying her entire office, but she couldn’t. In the bedroom that was attached to her office, her beautiful child lay asleep. She wouldn’t put him in that situation. She wouldn’t let her son see his mother fall apart. She had promised herself that she would never fall apart again, but here she was, carefully toeing that thin and fragile line between having her life together and beginning to fall apart.

A sharp knock at the door had pulled the woman out of her thoughts. It was definitely for the better.

“Enter,” (f/n)’s voice rang.

Levi stepped into her office and saluted her commander. (f/n) shook her head and waved away his salute, not in the mood for all the customs and courtesies. Levi drank in the image of the woman. She wasn’t herself right now. Her usually impeccable hair was messy and the tips of her fingers were turning purple. Her (e/c) eyes remained on something just above the doorway. Whatever she was eyeing, Levi wouldn’t know.

“What are the plans for the raid?” Levi asked.

(f/n) sighed as she sat on the front of her desk, before extending an arm to a chair, motioning Levi to sit as well.

“We leave to Karanes in four days. The basics in packing still apply as they did from previous missions. Once we arrive in Karanes, you and I are to observe the said direction of the hidden base from atop the wall. We have one of two options once we observe: we either continue that same day if there are no titans or we wait until nightfall if we spot more than four. From those two scenarios, we carry out the mission as was ordered. We investigate the legend of the hidden base and make it our own. It’s simple.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’m glad we both understand, Levi.”

An uncomfortable silence hung over the two. Levi had now noticed that (f/n) was shivering. Taken it was winter, but her office was chilly, not cold enough to actually make someone shiver.

“You haven’t been taking your iron supplements, have you, (f/n)?”

  
“It’s none of your concern, Levi.”

Levi could only roll his eyes. Getting up from his seat, Levi approached the woman and grab her hand. (f/n) tensed and began to pull her hand away, but stopped when he brought her hand to his lips. Levi blew warm air on to her hand, watching as the color returned to her hand.

  
“You need to take care of yourself, (f/n).”

Hard (e/c) eyes locked with unwavering steel gray. As they looked at each other, the hardness in (f/n)’s eyes slowly melted away. She peered down at the shorter man, her eyes full of curiosity and something else that Levi couldn’t quite explain, but that would have to wait for another time.

His eyes took focus of her now warm hand. With a moment of hesitation and regret, he let go and took a step back. He wanted so much to reach out and massage her tense shoulders, to smooth down her hair, get her a cup of tea, and then cuddle up in bed with her. As much as he wanted to do all those things, it seemed like tea was the only option.

“Would you like a cup of tea, (f/n)?”

For the first time, the woman shot him a smile and nodded her head meekly.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think about that, Levi. Ugh, I’m such a mess.”

At her comment, (f/n) gave a pitiful laugh and watched as the raven haired man opened the door and requested some tea be brought for the both of them.

“Care to tell me what has you so wound up? You rarely lose your composure.”

“Honestly, Levi, straight to the point. You could take a moment to rethink your questions sometimes.”

“Well, the new soldiers say the same thing to and I haven’t changed a damn thing yet,” Levi commented bluntly.

Suddenly nervous, (f/n) kicked off her boots and placed them outside the door leading to her room. She then moved over to the chair behind her desk and curled into it, feeling somewhat comforted in this whole awkward situation.

“I think it’s a bit strange is all, Levi.”

“My attitude? I think that you of all people should know how to deal with it. Especially since your personality is fairly similar too.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, you dork,” (f/n) commented softly, with a small smile that she was desperately trying to hide.

Levi could only raise an eyebrow as he stared at her from across her desk. He hadn’t seen this side of the woman in a long time. Levi wasn’t sure if he should be worried or take this chance to know her more?

“I’m talking about us working together. It’s a bit of a pain, don’t you think?”

Levi pondered on the words the woman had said. She was right, as per usual, but there was nothing they could really do. It was work and this particular work had to be done.

“You’re not wrong. I think that we do a pretty good job putting aside the personal aspect of it though.”

(f/n) could only shrug and leaned against the cool leather of her chair. Levi could see that something was on her mind. Dare he ask or should he just leave it?

“What are you thinking about, (f/n)?”

(e/c) met gray for another time, this time the hardness was returning to her eyes, only slowly.

“You want to know why I left,” (f/n) had stated.

“You’re right.”

The young woman had opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the knocking at the door. Levi looked over at the door before turning back to face his ex-lover. (f/n)’s face had become professional once more, all traces of the warmth she held earlier were gone.

“Enter,” she called.

In walked a soldier carrying two cups of tea. Sensing the atmosphere, the soldier quickly placed the tea on the desk and left. Steam poured out of the cups in waves, hinting that it had been freshly brewed and rushed to the superior’s office.

“So, are you going to tell me why you left?” Levi asked.

(f/n) picked up her cup of tea and sipped it tentatively before motioning for Levi to do the same.

“This tea is pretty good. Isn’t it, Levi?”

Levi grew frustrated. She was dodging the question and she knew that there was nothing he could do while they were in her office. If he wanted to know why, it would have to be off of private government property, particularly her office.

A devious grin made its way on to her lips as she tilted her head back slowly.

“I think you know where this conversation is going.”

Levi finished his drink and placed the now empty cup on the tray and held out his hand for (f/n)’s now empty cup. He took it from her hand and placed it on the tray before standing up straight.

“I’ll take these to the kitchen and then I’ll meet you in the hall before we talk to the rest of our squads. Do you need anything else from me?” Levi asked.

“Not at all, Levi, not at all.”

Levi quickly left, wondering why she had suddenly given him the cold shoulder again after just opening up. Whatever it was that had come between them obviously still bothered her. He knew that she wasn’t prone to mood-swings and she wasn’t bi-polar either. She was using what they both had learned in the Underground: protect yourself first. He couldn’t be mad at her, not completely, but he was irritated with her.

He was hurt.


	4. Chapter Four

On the top of the wall, Levi and (f/n) surveyed the area that was supposedly to lead to the secret base. The amount of titan activity had dropped to almost none recently, so Karanes was peaceful for once. The sun was shining brightly and the temperature was kind to the soldiers.

Levi looked over at the lead for this mission, (f/n). Since their last encounter, (f/n) had distanced herself from virtually everyone around her. Whatever was troubling her, it was starting to eat her alive. The steel eyed man was worried about her, but right now they both needed to focus on the mission at hand.

“Commander, there’s one!” a soldier had alerted (f/n).

Before anyone could move, (f/n) had blown a hole through the back of the titan’s neck. With her annoyance visibly written on her face, (f/n) threw the pull cord to the cannon onto the ground.

“I’m tired of watching this damn space. Do you guys feel confident enough to actually move or do we need to spend another three hours up here?” (f/n) asked.

Levi stood from his position and looked around him. The other soldiers were indeed terrified to check out the base, but at this point, (f/n) was more of a threat than any potential titans were.

“I say we go. We’re burning daylight just waiting,” Levi commented.

“Finally. Looks like we’re getting somewhere. Everyone has an hour to ready themselves for our decent to capture that base. Anyone that does not show on time, will be court-actioned when we return to Trost. Are there any questions?” (f/n) called out.

No one bothered to say anything and they were immediately dismissed.

“You know, you might want to tone it down. You’re coming off more bitchy than usual, (f/n).”

“I just want this damn mission to be over with already. I hate being in Karanes.”

“Well you sure picked a hell of a place to be a commander then. Besides that, everyone wants to return to Trost, not only you.”

The look that (f/n) shot at Levi was one of anger, but Levi didn’t back down. Whatever the hell was bothering her, she wasn’t about to take it out on everyone around her.

“I have a lot going on right now. I just need to finish the stupid mission and then go back to Trost. That’s all.”

Levi could only raise an eyebrow at the woman.

“Whatever makes you sleep better at night. Get your head out of your ass and let’s get this mission taken care of, alright (f/n)?”

The (h/c) haired woman sighed and brushed her hair out of her face, a small yet uncertain smile on her face.

“Sure.”


End file.
